May 2013
Mexican Jokes
south-park-prophecy:
Why can’t Mexicans play Uno? Because they always steal the green card.
What is the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? One can raise a child.
What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower? A miracle
How do you starve a Mexican? Put their food stamps on their work boots
Why did they cancel drivers-ed in Mexico? The donkey died
How do you get a Mexican out of a...
some bitch: omg you wore that shirt the other day
me: yeah well in my house we have this amazing thing called a washing machine
scvlptures:
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
you-do-not-do:
hoelita:
people seriously think that you can just leave an abusive relationship, like walk out and it’s over
let’s talk about how one-third of women murdered every year are by an intimate partner. let’s talk about how a woman leaving her batterer is seventy-five percent more likely to be killed.
bulletbakas:
Ain’t no friendship like a friendship where you’re either confused as siblings or gay lovers
Anxiety: hey!
Me: what now?
Anxiety: Nothing, just wanted to worry you today.
Me: ...great
Anxiety: Hey your boyfriend/girlfriend didn't text you back, they're probably with someone else right now.
Me: ....
Anxiety: Oh your best friend hasn't spoken to you today either. They're probably sick of your shit.
Me: ....
Anxiety: Your parents said they're really proud of you..do you honestly believe that?
Me: ....
Anxiety: Where do you see yourself in a year? Oh wait, you can barely get through a day!
Me: ...shut up.
Anxiety: Will you ever rise to anything?
Me: Shut up!
Anxiety: Or are you always this pathetic? Lol
Me: Why can't you leave me alone!?
Anxiety: Because messing with your head is what I live for.
Woman: I'm smart
Patriarchy: Well you're probably ugly then
Woman: I'm creative
Patriarchy: You mean unattractive right?
Woman: I have all these incredible accomplishments
Patriarchy: Yeah but look how ugly you looked doing them
Woman: I have value
Patriarchy: Not if you're ugly lol
Woman: I'm conventionally-attractive & posted selfies on my blog
Patriarchy: I'm so sick of these empty-headed chicks only caring about their looks. Just because you are attractive and get attention from men doesn't mean you are special or deserve respect. Why don't you read a book or do something productive with your life you dumb slut
Confidence In Social Situations
wiccanwritings:
Make or buy a small draw-string bag about 1-2 inches deep. Put in a pinch or two of each of the following:
Nutmeg Pine needles Dried Lavender Piece of Mandrake root
Carve your initials and a pentagram on the mandrake root and tie the bag closed. During the waxing phase of the moon, consecrate and charge the bag. Wear it around your neck or keep it in your pocket. You will...
gwenstefuckme:
When your sneeze turns into a fucking death metal scream
chickensandwich:
when i have tons of money i will still buy cheap clothes because then i can have 100 articles of clothing for the price of 1 really expensive designer item and i will have a lot of money left for food
Through the Eyes of the Last Romantic: "You're... →
stolenwine:
it’s hard because nowadays people are so quick to jump on you if you mention anything about having an anxiety disorder or dealing with depression. i mean, yes, some people romanticize it and over-exaggerate things and say that they have said disorders or issues for attention or to come off as…
